dear apple
in a paper
sack
there is
no
tornado
children
less widespread
than children
praying
the boy possesses the silence of god
/ bring me the scarecrow’s parrot
~ neighborhood wine
it’s the same in every model. the cat is first, then the dog, then the baby the cat eats in a dream. while I can’t speak for his cough, I can say my son doesn’t belong to god. my fear of water snakes, though vaguely tied to my father’s shaved belly, began with a bike that was given to my brother with no one on it.
~ appetence
I stab my father with a carrot so I can say he lives to the pacifist who broke the television we were called to witness. I run after my children because they think they are chasing nothing down the street. god blows two bubbles that become the eyes of a crucified man. the last arm in the world will be a prosthetic arm made for the toddler who will die in the meat of the dying. your father has an apple in one hand and a tomato in the other. everyone is poor. everyone is responsible for how it is portrayed to the bun in the oven. the softness we reserve for women has gone to our teeth.
~ modicums
the child
saint
of separation
anxiety
eats
so little
that when
he
or she
chews
open
mouthed
a ghost
gets
a birthmark
~ silent work
naming
the stillborn
within hail
of the snake
loving
boy
who can psalm
a basketball
~ interpretive work
prayer
as the horn
the car
carries
into
a tornado. touch
as ventriloquy.
~ how to receive the crucifixion story
burn the scarecrow
your mother
translates for.
make your daughter
believe
that a virgin
is a nobody, that a somebody
does her own
stunts.
hire
grief’s interpreter
on a part-time
basis
to blow
your son
in your son’s
presence.
as a symbol of your absence
disappear.
~ themes for abandon
the father is a one-man show
of seasonal darkness.
the mother is clockwork.
the child is the child born
wearing
a tight
shirt.
the loaf of bread is the hot heart of nightfall.
the cut is a city
attracted
to a blood drive. the blood drive
is god’s treehouse.
~ lithic
I am too wrapped up in my own stomach
to visit the mother
who worships
mine
~ baptismal
while my mother
swims
in the lake
where my father
learned
to coexist
with his ability
to be
alone,
to which
my father
brought
the seashell
his father
coined
the ocean’s
bible,
I sleep
the sleep
of my hair
not the sleep
of its brush
~ bearings
I’m here for the music
–
you can keep
your baby
I’m here
for the swing
–
I write
on the days
my son
is sick
–
if heard
I overhear
there was more
to him
in the womb
–
no dream is strong enough to put a hospital
on the map
–
in heaven
the past
is the present
that left
for earth
~ buzzer therapy
dearest ear,
god is not my fault.
I can hear the worm’s message,
the anthill’s thunder.
revelation comes
once a week
to come out
of its coma. between us,
my rapist belongs to me.
~ resting place
insomnia
is the stone
I move
from the hand
that forgets it
to the hand
that remembers
nothing.
sleep’s
reactionary
phobia
of loss
comes to me
in a dream.
the distance from you to me
is still
god. to what
your sight
has touched
I appear
visible. as recalled,
my childhood
has very little
on the illness
it took
to process
yours.
~
[Drone & Chickenhouse]
poems, October 2015, book link and reading link:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/barton-smock/drone-chickenhouse/paperback/product-22390933.html
[Eating the Animal Back to Life]
poems, July 2015, book link and reading link:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/barton-smock/eating-the-animal-back-to-life/paperback/product-22277755.html
~
and here are some poems not in either of the above collections:
~
[notes for stimuli]
I start my sentences
like this:
the thing is.
thing is
my son
like yours
is dying. thing is
I was told
by god
to be a man.
I love you all.
I love
but start a fight
with someone
I’ve never met
over what
a fucking
poverty
no one
talks to
not
in years.
one must apple boldly in a cornfield of rust.
baby clotheshorse
eats baby
litmus.
taste
keeps my tongue
in the dark.
~
[raisings]
we couldn’t get a horse because we had this one dog would fake sick. had this nurse would sleep with her shoes on. I don’t know how many of us there were. I had more fevers than god had footprints to follow. had an insect to offer worry. we were poor and perfect when pretending to be. father had a hat that remembered our names and mother a kite she called the birthday of a ghost. I wanted to be a girl but my sorrow was too southern. had a sister and she asked her baby what do angels have. I never saw for myself the ransom note from hell we couldn’t touch. parts came in pairs so both would answer.
~
[city vision]
downloading
the horror movie
that shows
your penis
takes
a long time
in the city.
others
are a grief
I came alive
to miss.
~
[immolator]
i.
his hands looked as if they’d been born inside a tree. his cock as if god had thought twice about burning the entire stick. who am I kidding. find that fucking tree and have its baby.
ii.
my body was so hot the stretcher caught fire outside the pig pink temple.
iii.
what’s left of the human wall are the feet of the human wall
says mother
to the family
of the secret
wig.
suicidal, mom is thinking for two. the storm says again there’s a hand in my soup. my ears are sounds from the son of god. the sister of sister insane has an arm and with it throws a roller skate at a school bus. you can’t see my breasts anymore than I can see the worried eyes of a giraffe. people are people from church. the we in we let her believe.
~Adonai~
as if asked to bathe an angel
father drops mother
from an open
first floor
window.
with little effort
my brothers move a trampoline
over her body.
I talk over
with two actors
in prison garb
how to shoot the scene
having only
one phone and one
pane of glass.
all were rich
father included
when the window was closed
and he was on fire.
~mall nuns~
a chicken with its head cut off
takes part in a melodrama
fit for a swan
–
both halves of my daughter
live thinking they are survived
by the other
–
mall nuns.
just nuns
taking a shortcut.
–
my daughter uses a pencil
when pretending
to smoke.
nesting failure
makes her sad.
–
I spend my days seeing things.
as if
youth is a museum
–
poverty isn’t
~virtuoso~
mommy I am stones. I am in the blacktop river. my veins have been used to unpiss cows. like my father after me I don’t want you to be my mother but you are. the men catch me with the fish they’ve eaten. they slap at me beneath a robe to make the robe move. I recognize my photo shopped savior as airbrushed. I blind whole neighborhoods with snowplow models of their choosing. if you receive this it means there is much more you haven’t. there are ashtrays no one makes anymore and tumors we don’t call phone-shaped. I am beautiful in the baby you sing to.
~cinema~
when as a father
one arrives early
one is lonesome
and given
by no one
the task
of remembering
the empty lot
roped off
and daughter
needing both hands
for the rock
~podium~
a toy tugboat
in an unfilled
baby pool
a dead spider
beneath it
I could talk nightly
on these-
my dreams would look for missing children
my dreams would turn to salt
~proximal~
this is the holding father
bent from the weight
of his child
ear to eardrop
a hospital tree in aftermath
hunched to the loss
of discovery
this is day 39 of 40
observations
each day I have so many
children to name
differently
I don’t remember the first time you were here
anymore I am blessed
to see your toes
hear a storm
when the storm
is distant
in one room
a light is on
in another
off
–
I live with my parents
hymn to mouth
delivering
fluency
by hand
to the language
of vicarious
passage
–
gender peasantry
is about
to become
a thing
–
mom, dad
I don’t think there’s world enough left to be quiet in
–
my bad hearing
I take it
with me
in the creek of tomato silence
where my father saw
what it was
god
could not eat
there lives
a tiny whale
fooled
by emptiness
