some recent:
[fathers]
to see a stone
as ruin’s
pursuit
of aftermath
one must share
this dream
of arriving
on earth
to pray
~
[numen]
purgatory
the map lover’s
heaven
–
tea time
and your doll
has no
belly button
–
is your blood clot
still
a cloud
~
[aliform]
it is not my job
anymore
to keep
the television
quiet, give
bunny ears
to someone
bleeding
–
take your time, snake, this egg
will return
your belly
~
[capsuling]
mark my words, wrist
–
with god
as my impression
mark
insomnia
–
the mood was very bloody, the mother invented
sex
to scare
the kids, the mother
drank
cologne
–
I keep having the same baby
it comes
with a dream
~
[catastrophe]
I am differently
afraid
of each
cigarette
–
thematically, father hopes
to operate
on a clown
–
compared
to his
my hunger
is having
a flashback
–
wheelchair, oh
to its dog
door
bliss
~
books here:
~for cousin~
I injure
on my own
my right
hand
to give
the left
I was born
with
a break
/ wonder
whose hands
does father
have
some recent:
{ruth}
father
son
I saw them kill
out of hunger
the angel
could prepare
angel
–
it is wholly birdlike
the thought
that brings oil
to god
–
the sleeping alien
is not without
its headless
astronaut (the first thing
–
one sees
hallucinates
~
{emphasis}
the field
where father
sold
from a grounded
helicopter
a fog
machine
to one
whose pregnancy
had not
ended / the field
where brother
found
in a condom
a piece
of chalk / the field
sorta
field
like
with its puppies
and its trash / yeah
there is something to be said
I don’t know what
to echo’s
first
love / the dizzy
spells
of deer
~
{the knife}
it is for my ears that god gave me a stomach full of cotton. my mother’s fingers are made of bread. her blood she says is dieting for the blank book of beauty sleep. I have an inside animal unable to move on from the rained out magic show. its only joy is to bring me shoelaces. after building houses, my father shakes himself barefoot in the railroad car of a train his angel plans to swallow. I have nothing for my throat.
~
{expansion}
I have an ear for each parent I believe in and a hand for each god I don’t. I have yet to make a body that doesn’t become bread. in the process of comprehending the smallness of my twin’s brain, I lost the only friend I could talk to in code. my son won’t use a spoon as he fears it distracts his food. the fork is next and the knife, safe. my daughter is a drunk and also a soup that gives the same nightmare to the mouths of my angel.
~
{meditation}
summer was for sexting and for watering the scarecrow’s spine. say it with me this was not that summer. as a ghost might surprise the mother and go to salt, a doll might remember its teeth.
~
{doctrine}
dropped on its head for saying footprint, the baby begins its work of collecting only those sounds it can scare. its father mothers otherness as one who watches a film to make the world worse. its brother hunchback and sister backstroke are viewed as two stomachs waiting for hunger to dry. because my mouth is empty, I talk all the time.
~
{level}
brother is digging barehanded in the backyard a hole for what he hopes is the alien of god’s choice. as for existence, my mother’s is low on mine. my father is keeping out of the same sentence any mention of heroin and totem pole. no one including you cares for my sister’s worry that this no this is the bottom of a rock. if asked, I will say I was visiting with my arms the museum of rowboats during the regional spike in baptisms we as a family failed to interrupt.
~
{harrower}
it is easier now that I know I was never going to be a better person. if I once called poetry the grieving arm that ends in five short complaints, I am sorry. I watch my son lick the space on the table where he’ll put his cheek. it is not for me to believe he is a sign of warnings to come. the distant memory of his tongue is not mine to betray. I want to kiss you to the sound of god counting footfalls on a mountain path. for one, I have never been completely covered in bruises. also, I was in the spotlight when my mother was asked to describe a sponge. instead, she identified the break in the letter where a father changed pens and childhood as the longing of Eve.
~
{the lost art of memorizing psalms}
the food bowl
of a baby boy
is the nest
of a fool’s
bird
~
something smaller
than my brother
has been killed
~
{cabal}
it was
before it met me
a town
/ it is now
both babies, it be
alone, it be
the number
of times
god
went missing / it does not be
what is touching
what arouses
acolytes
of narrative
thrust / I spill
milk
and you
treat me
like I’ve stepped
on a stick / revelation
was the lord’s
idea / wasn’t
to have animal
devour
animal / until / it’s too pretty
what you’re putting
on paper
/ I get my food
from food, time
from the grace period
given
to clones / a man
with bad posture
the posture
of an infant
dreams
the apples
in the house
have been
turned off / the darkness
of being eaten
once
the hymn
in all its
cephalic
worry
has me thinking
bathrobe
while saying
statue / why
always
this dream
I join
others
to find
a small
body / death
had a spoiled
child
but for the death grip
she has
on a popcorn
necklace
the underdeveloped
character
from god’s
desert
memoir
would otherwise
stuff
her face
as if eating
above
a crow’s
grave
had ever
brought back
food
her mother
left the house
each morning
to work
inside
an animal
that was always
on the move
her father
spent the day
spitting
into toilets
for any sign
of tracking
god
why
every year
she goes
as blood?
she says
until
it’s hers
emptiness
the inexperienced
nude
wouldn’t know
the body
from two
failed
twins
–
I followed my father everywhere
into the fire
he wouldn’t
set
–
mama mono
the haint
of foretouch
had three
loves
that were not
ash, sloth
–
glacier…
–
if not heaven
then a place
in its
museum
thru March 8th, Lulu is offering 20% off all print books with coupon code of CLEAR20
have books, here:
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/acolyteroad
~
[taunts]
death is never early. take the first bite of every meal in front of a mirror. chase the kid while pulling a plastic bag over your head. invent a sibling schoolmates blind. know poverty, know moon. shampoo the elderly from a distance. baby no one. they have looked like hell since before you were born.
~
[listener]
illness is
as illness
narrates.
I self-pierce. medicate
like a missing man
at a party
for baby.
take this balloon
from me.
baby suffers
from heavy
elbow
and wilderness.
~
[pathos]
our fighting
determines
which of us
is more
sonsick.
relic child, town crier.
I take what I’m given, beating.
cerecloth, snow
on snow
before and after
it buries.
me of course
as I position
myself
to hum
above
a basket.
me as I marry homeward
and kick
ball, stone, stiff
bird
stiff bird in death
doubling as
the rat
of an angel
yes
kick
for reasons known
to another’s
pet cobra
skin to skin
in an unmarked
life.
~
[future stabbings]
you take photos of men and women who aren’t all there. you post the photos while your dog barks. you doze on a hot day. your mom calls to tell you about the spider in her eye and while she talks you look for your dog. your mom thinks you sound desperate though you’ve said nothing. you go outside and see your dog in the backseat of a parked car. the car is not yours. your mom has the hiccups and says the first part of goodbye.
~
[serum psalm]
I wake my children until there are three of them.
I see god so I can say I’ve seen god
without
his gas mask.
on leave from pregnancy,
my wife
admires
how well
I project
concealment.
our baby
slept
coiled
in the bucket
we saved
from the well.
my knowledge of dolphins
includes
how long
their offspring
can survive
in a tank
of my father’s
blood.
I once thought
my cock
was sobbing.
so did you.
~
[themes for transition]
I used my nearest
sister
to strike
my brother
who’d wasted
the last tooth
of his horse
meant
for a slingshot
on a meal
for a scarecrow
–
the power
to mother
went out
–
father
compared
puppets
–
our heaven of socks and string
~
[the father]
I am walking up a hill the dark is trying to move. my mother has a way with words. my mother has a baby. reading is a kind of crying. the baby is crying because the baby has lost track of something that possesses nearness. there are two babies. one is always blind and one is blind when it eats. never lose a tooth you can swallow.
