still af
at a time
unlike this
the father
is all
appetite
the chicken, gone
he points
to its ghost…
–
my mouth
is a church, my clock
a Sunday spider
in a dry
toilet
–
(I’m passionate about my grief)
your shadow
dolled up
in the yard
–
cyborg, minotaur
not once
did I watch
them sleep
body
like some use an alias. fingerprints
manna
for hand.
–
I was dreaming I guess
in the face of brevity
–
of god’s glassrabbit ocean
we peck
in the darkroom
at the wrist
of a fish
our body language
proofing
the baby’s
dream
it’s the day after jesus dies and father is a nightmare. I am the right size to change out his cigarette and I’m good at it. people in handcuffs pray over his legs.
father is a dream. a tree you notice in the dark- mom said that. mom says also that an ant’s heart is everywhere. everywhere in the ant.
jesus wants to be human. my brothers lift his body because my brothers do not yet know that neither will want to put it down. I mean to see them off but am rooted in what the future for a moment believes.
mother is not two people but she does go up and down the stairs as if she’s visiting two museums showing the same coffin. for every other step there’s a step that’s not. if my mouth at night is open, she sleeps outside in the ribs of a tree.
your sister is made of money and silence. has nocturia. death on other planets, oh. we’re just poor.
hand-like, unfixable, the hugger of its neck
Photo credit: StockSnap. Description: Woman with eyes closed and shadow across face.
I want to talk about something I witnessed last week in the online world.
First, a little background. A couple of years ago, I became increasingly aware of a pervasive phenomenon in the (overwhelmingly white) women’s spirituality/ personal growth circles I move in. I noticed persistent attempts to deny and disown painful realities by insistence (overt or implied) that we create our struggles with our negative thinking or energy or low vibration or fill-in-the-blank. I do believe the way we frame things in our thinking can be important to our well being and success, up to a point. I do believe we have some authentic choice around where we place our focus, and those choices can impact our well being and success, up to a point. However, I found the blanket application and oversimplification of these ideas to…
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sympathy pain, crib
of a normalized
hunger
the enhanced sameness of being alone. the last name of a circle. suicide has done its homework. pretend you’re the someone pretends to be you.
each drawing I do of my face is uglier than the last. god sends me hands I can’t use and prays for his hair. if I have a daughter, she is returning items to a small mirror. keep me if I don’t.
kingsoftrain 