anyway I really miss my grandmothers, my grandfathers, my father-in-law, and oh how I miss my aunt and lately the writing idk it's just not all there but I think that is part of it you know the distance the lack of wording the void that not even absence will throw itself into but I just want to say that while all this loss to me is like losing a place or an eyepatch or the x on some root, these losses mean to others whole fucking mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers and limbs without phantom and I just don't know what to say except that I am speechless at the tip of so many tongues and that I hope you are all able to language your way backward and through
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